Oh, Neil, how I adore thee. I can't imagine anyone NOT liking this guy. Not only is he a world-renowned astrophysicist, 6'2" tall New Yorker, fine wine enthusiast and seemingly all around hilarious cool guy, but he has also mastered that most elusive of skills: Translating sciencey-speak into language for those of us without PhDs.
If you don't know who he is, look up ANY YouTube video of him saying pretty much anything.
Maybe "crush" is the wrong word to use in this case, because even though I'd date a guy like him in a second, ultimately I just wish I could hang out with him for a day. I have a feeling I'd come out of that day with a completely different view of the world, and that's one reason I love this guy so much; he's changing the world with amazing knowledge filtered through his personality. People who listen to what he has to say become a little smarter, or at least a little less stupid.
Well, I guess that's inaccurate... what I mean is that he brings new knowledge to everyone in a way that makes them care about and retain it. Let's face it, if you're stupid you're stupid, but at least he can make it an INFORMED stupidity.
Here's to you, Neil.
If I'm lucky enough to meet you some day, I just know you'll say something atomic.
*****
As for Noel, he's the perfect example of a guy I shouldn't be into, but I just can't stop. God dammit, he SHOULD annoy the crap out of me, but I see something of a kindred spirit there, and I find those to be woefully few and far between.
I can't STAND hipsters, and this guy not only comes across as King Hipster, but also as a guy who has every reason to have an ego in the stratosphere, which is also a me-repellant. When you see him in interviews, though, he's got obvious nervous tics and is unexpectedly soft-spoken and laid-back, and I've heard/read several accounts of how he's the sweetest guy when you meet him, so I can't quite get a bead on him.
Ultimately, though, I just can't lay off the weird ones, and he definitely takes the cake in that department. He takes the cake AND leaves it out in the rain.
This is the only photo I found with him dressed in an outfit you wouldn't notice instantly, and in which he's not being goofy.
Everything about Noel appeals to me at an indirect angle. He's that sort of thin and pale that some British guys seem to have perfected, with an odd profile (that I'd love to draw), but when animated he somehow pulls it all together into something adorable. He's funniest when he's on the spot, when he writes stuff for his shows and/or when he's seemingly not TRYING so hard. He does stand-up, but it's not really funny. He so obviously has one foot in some other world that his humor goes right past a lot of people, but on his shows? A dude discussing Sartre with a busted coconut (and all that leads up to and follows)? THAT's funny.
He will also, as far as I can tell (and this I really dig), wear absolutely anything. Zero wardrobe boundaries, and that's my kind of guy. He could show up wearing a prom dress, a latex bunny suit or flannel pajamas with red glitter cowboy boots. You can always see hipsters wearing odd/ugly things which they do to be deliberately fashionably rebellious (which completely negates the effect, of course), but no matter how badly I want to believe he just does it to maintain an image, I can't help but actually believe he does it because he never lost that 5-year-old kid thing of, "I'm gonna dress like a cowboy for school today."
Once, I was on a camping trip with a bunch of friends, and two of whom (Mark and Andy) opted to do 'shrooms one night. I've given up all drugs as of several years ago, mostly because I find them to be a waste of money, as I can stare at something for hours and contemplate how fascinating it is without being on anything. Plus, and of greater concern, is that I have a feeling drugs will render me either irretrievably mad or (worse) totally normal. Anyway, Mark and Andy consumed their contraband, and the conversation continued on, until it eventually began to meander here and there at the whim of their "opened" minds. I, being me, followed along with interest and not too much thought, and eventually Mark turned to Andy and said, "This is so weird... did you notice that we came over to the 'other side,' and (I) was already there waiting for us!"
They found this to be, of course, a profound revelation.
This is one reason I'm so taken with Fielding. He's on the other side, too, and (fortunately) has found a way to make a living from being way over there (or "here," from my point of view), the lucky bastard.
I'd do damn near anything to spend just a day with him, talking about any topic, finger-painting on the roof and playing the "Post It" pub game. It's somewhat irritating knowing that if we'd been at the same art school, I'd probably have dated him, but those are the breaks. It's even more irritating that the likelihood of our paths ever crossing is pretty close to zero, because I think he's another guy who can give one a new (and delightfully bizarre) way to see the world, and I'd find that to be like conversing with someone who speaks the same arcane language as I.
And that's kind of a shame.
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